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27/07/2010. 2.50am. I thought I would sleep very early tonight due to the killing run I had with Bryan and TM just now, but it wasn't so in fact. Read some posts from some friends and realized that many of them have a goal to achieve, a plan to follow and a target to meet. Here I am rotting my holidays away at home. I eat, sleep and play aimlessly. Spend a lot but earn zero. Suddenly the guilt engulfed me, not only this but also at grandpa’s death. Sis and mum were watching the recorded video taken at grandpa’s funeral ten over years back. They were, as usual, tearing away. Then sis asked me, how if the video they were watching is for my granny, who is still alive healthily. I didn’t dare to think of it and scolded her for the nonsense. Then away I went for a bath, thinking of the scenario when grandma is dead. I am terrified; I don’t want any of my loved ones to leave me. I can’t image what we will do without grandma, or even my parents. Death is part and parcel of life, everyone has to go through, but I don’t wish and am really scared to see them departing. We felt somewhere guilty for not staying by grandpa’s side before he closed his eyes for good; we were all in school then. We spent very little time with grandpa, our most respectful and beloved person in this world. Now, I see the need to take care of grandma more, talk more to her and make sure she does not feel lonely. What we all can do now is really to cherish all our loved ones before it’s too late.
Thank you Zhonghao, Zhongyang, Huilong, Yande and Tady's help in organising this event.
Finally, from today onwards, I am very free once again.
I need more outings, crazy ones !!!!