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I realize when someone I care doesn't perform to what I have expected, I will cry. STRESSFUL for people to handle! I am sorry to have this emotionally instability.
Baby, I miss you tonight. I need you now.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Hxk.
I am like being denied of my own effort.
It is because this is the first time someone is being so frank isn't it?
Or is it because of the speaker?
I am starting to care how he sees me isn't it?
The comment or the person?
Hxk;
and
Wkl.
I am childish, I know.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Finally bought my new phone, Samsung Galaxy III LTE.
Was choosing between the limited edition of red 3G vs the white 4G, in the end chose LTE white as there is no more 3G Red for me to choose from.
The phone costs $498 with a two-year contract with Starhub with a free pink android speaker, free pink pink cover and pink charmer (Wondering how they know I like pink! Hahah).
S3 is the 'smartest' phone I have seen so far; it has a big screen and extremely clear pictures, voice command for camera and answering/rejecting calls.
The coolest swiping keyboard and the palm-scanning function of print-screen.
Apple Iphone 5 is never in my serious consideration, let's all support Samsung S3 for its wonderful interface!
Monday, October 08, 2012
I am struggling hard.
I truly regretted going Shanghai for Industrial Attachment first half of the year, if I would have stayed in Singapore instead, many things wouldn't have happened and I won’t be this miserable now. Or perhaps if not for the 620 or National day events, I would be less sinful.
Many nights I have spent questioning myself, what have I done wrong or what should I do to make myself less a sinner? No answers were heard. I don’t know who can I seek help from or what is the best remedy for all. As days passed, these problems become more and more complicated for the older me to handle. I must have become more stupid. As shadows fall and block my eyes, I am lost and know that I must hide.
I know that I have wasted someone’s life somehow; I don’t deserve that person’s love and care anymore. I have also started something so wrong in the first place. I have changed; to someone I can’t even recognize myself. I know I will falter I know I will cry. But I hope one day I can wake up from this nightmare, forget about it and walk through my once-colourful-life with a sexy curve on my lips again.
For now, I wish to varnish into the thin air.
Monday, October 01, 2012
Hello blog,
I can’t believe that I have not blogged for the whole of
September, must be due to the hectic workload I have. How sad I am to be a
final year student. Firstly, I have already removed the blog password, I am
sorry that it has created so much trouble for some of you guys out there.
Secondly, I would like to thank someone for being such a sweetie on 25th
September, for helping me so much that night!
Lastly, I would like to blog about my drinking experience with
HRong, Yjing and Zyang on Saturday 28th September. That day HR invited us to his church (Heart for God
Church) for a special event. I must admit that I kind of like the service
there, the spirit and the people. The service was conducted with all pop prayer
songs, so different for the churches I visited in the past. I liked this
particular song, “here to love”, it was so sweet and has a holy-feel, and
suddenly I feel like attending church again. Also I was very glad to know his
friendly church friends, Yee xiong especially, was extremely amiable, mingled
with us the whole afternoon. Making us feel so welcomed. After which, we joined
them all for dinner at Arnold before we went to the pub at Hong Kong Street.
It was my first time drinking with single clique. As we only
purchased three vouchers, I volunteered not to drink. So the three of them just
ordered their free flow of alcoholic drinks. Hr didn’t really drink so much, but
yj and zy drank a crazy amount. Then they both started talking incoherently
after a few rounds of cointreau. Hr and I then started our nanny job, taking
care of them. They took almost 2 hours to be able for us to get on the cab. So
HR and I sent yjing back first then zyang, both to their door-step. I was the
last to leave, I would like to thank the driver for charging me 10 cents less,
($50 instead of $50.10 LOLX) and he was so nice that he waited for me at the
car park as he knew I was scared at 1.30am then. He asked me to shout loudly if
anything happens. Before I entered the lift I shouted:” uncle, okay!” but he didn’t
hear. After I got home, I immediately went to the windows and the uncle was
reversing slowly to drive out. I was so touched! THANK YOU UNCLE! Singapore
needs more cab drivers like him! XIEXIENI!
Reached home and though he might need me, so after I bathed,
I lied on bed with loud phone profile, trying not to doze off with wet hair.
But I dozed off and the night was rather quiet till 5plus in the morning. Then his
sms came at dawn, so after exchanging a few sms, we dozed off again.
I am glad that I didn’t drink.
1st October 2012:
Dinner at Korean BBQ with my GIP clique. It was a warming gathering though there was very limited choices of food. We celebrated Joewei's birthday after that. It falls on the same day as my sister's birther, 10 Oct. I wasn't in my mood the whole afternoon, thought of going esplanade for a night chill, however the dream didn't come true. NVM, next time then.
I have made someone angry again, I am sorry, I don't mean it. zdhdbq, ylwhm?
It is really very hard to please two very important persons in my life, I don't know how to strike a balance between them? Sometimes I feel like escaping but sometimes I feel so glad to have them by my side. However, all good things come to an end, it's time to make a decision, soon.