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I was still lying in my bed, feeling dizzy when I saw your video tag.
Seriously I have to admit, I was completely touched, emotionally unstable.
Then, I felt the strong urge to do something about it and not to let nature take its course anymore.
There are few things I need to make it clear to you:
Firstly, I understand very much that it was too petty and insensitive for me to angry with yang for so long.
I know it is my fault but, definitely not like what you think, "摆布人们情绪的作风"
I have never ever thought of doing so at all.
And I thought having chatted with him all night long at Fruit Paradise on Saturday night was rather obvious that I was not really angry with him?
I have also never, like what you think, enjoy toying my friends' emotions.
The one and only one was my boyfriend.
You scolded me when I told you that years back, but I didn't do it on any particular friend.
But after getting scoldings from you that time, I have not done any again.
You can check with my boyfriend if you doubt me.
Doing this on boyfriends is like a girl purposely make the boyfriend jealous.
The same reason, not right but understandable.
Secondly, that day during the photo shoot, you were envious of the Caucasian model and said words that showed low level of self-esteem, I consoled you in a positive way but you took it as I was being sarcastic.
Then I immediately said if that was what you thought then I had nothing left to comment.
During our dinner with yang, I complained again to him, you heard and was laughing too, remember?
If you do, then why still said :"等到现在才一副委屈地在博客上面说啊"
I thought I did it immediately, for twice somemore, not wait till now!?
Thirdly, You said I :"做错事还哭哭啼啼，搞得被害人好像变成罪人一样。"
If you understand me enough, you should know that I can't control my tears, not because I wanted to let everyone think that I am pitiful or whatever.
I remembered once I called you cry rivers of tears just because Pudding bite me.
I told you that time, I just cannot control my tears.
I really thought that he knew what was going on then!
And all along I was not really angry with him, I was however, only after reading his blog entry.
The above are the few things I really can't bring myself to comprehend in your situation as I really don't know how much you know about this incident.
However whatever it is, I admit that it all started with my childishness to be angry with yang.
I have apologized to yang for many times already because I really didn't expect it to turn out like that.
It is also my fault forgetting to update you with our progress when you were really concerning for us.
I am sorry about this, it was simply my fault, really.
I have neglected your feeling in this issue.
Yesterday I met two groups of girls because they really concern about me when they saw my tweets and blog entry.
They are my friends, siding me is inevitable.
Then they said things about you, I felt unfair to you, and told them how well you treated me usually.
I know, I am not really angry with you, its just more of I don't like people to accuse me for things not of my intention, especially from you, because you are of unestimated worth to me.
And also, first time encountering this type of problem, I don't know how to handle it.
I am scared.
When I saw your video just now, and I was so touched at that moment that whatever I am angry or sad with were all gone at once!
My memory flashed back to the days when we shared our secrets and had fun together!
How wonderful are those days those times those invaluable friendship!
I have neglected my studies for almost a week due to this, so just don't bring it up again ok?
I hope everything will be better.
"我希望我還是你的司機當你迷失方向
還是你的醫生當愛讓你中傷
不介意變成烏鴉阻擋你太衝動危險地飛翔
更可以一直是白痴陪著你講夢話繼續限制你心魔被解放
但是，我可以不當你的嫁妝嗎？
因為我還要嫁。
我只想當你最寶貝的好朋友，forever!"
Monday, September 26, 2011
原來很小的一件事怎麼會變到這樣？
從小，CL大聲罵我我只會偷偷地哭，隔天又一起去學校，一點也不敢生她的氣。就算是生氣了，也不敢讓她知道原因。 Esther and Jane 她們很喜歡問我為什麼她對我不好我還跟她做朋友？ '因為我知道她值得'這是我一貫的回答。
長大後，我學會了'生氣'但是很多人都不當真。我喜歡和朋友玩玩笑笑，但是有時她們傷到我我也不想多說，只覺得告訴他們原因會感覺很小氣，因為生氣的原因都不大嚴重。 YJ有時候會有點attitude的跟我講話，我是會在意的，會不喜歡她這個樣子，但是我們真的很好，就算了。好像前幾天，她跟我說她身材不好，我就回答說她沒有很胖。結果她就說我每次這樣，很敷衍。我幫自己講話她又很不削的說我不會明白。 。 。我真的覺得莫名其妙。很想罵她，或生氣。但是覺得很小氣，就想想她對我的好，又想為了接下來的攝影和晚餐，就又笑笑地和她講話了。
多少次為了這樣的小事，我就很無辜的當一個只會點頭，面帶笑容的朋友。生氣了你們只會說那是開完笑的，別太在意，別太小氣！但是我說了又說，你們還是一樣！說真的，導致我對某些事情特別在意，甚至刻意隱瞞的是你們！ ！ ！
Sometimes覺得自己很可憐，難道我連生氣的權利也沒有嗎？我生氣不想給理由不可以嗎？晚餐時，我跟你還是有說有笑，那你應該知道我並不是很生氣。我明明就說了，找不到答案那我就幾天不reply你。你不知道嗎？而且，我剛才也跟你說了，算了，沒事了。那你為什麼還說我沒put in effort and that I don't care about our friendship? 你明明知道我是愛哭鬼還讓我傷心流淚。
If I really don't care, 那為什麼我看到你說喝酒，就叫HR and HL看看你和誰在一起，在哪裡？
If I really don't care, 那為什麼我會很內疚，怕你出事？後來聽說你在家就放心了。
If I really don't care, 那為什麼我看到你的blog後就更生氣？那是因為，我被冤枉了。
If I really don't care, 那為什麼我會花這麼久用我很懶的漢語拼音打繁體字？
我很在乎友誼的。但是有時候友誼真的很脆弱。很累的時候，我會選擇逃避，不想跟任何人講話。
所以，請不要理我。
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
It is my E-learning this week, I have stayed home the whole of today, but I am not focused in my work at all.
I think alot the whole day long.
It is just a game, why am I so serious about it?
And I am really very very very bothered by something else.
Oh my tian can anyone please advise..........?
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
I saw this with my boyfriend in one of the shops in Bugis last Friday.
I thought it is cute so gave it a try. Then BF said just buy it since its cheap.However I think it is not really necessary as we won't need it for a burning weather here.
Then the salesgirl said that its original price is $15 and that it can be worn for parties. (ARE YOU SURE?)
Upon hearing the great discount, I decided to buy it, then BF suggested buying another two for his nieces.
But too bad, that was the last piece!
I am lucky!
Bought a pink dress from that same shop at only $10 too!!!
Today Jiaying and Moses told me that GIP results were out.
So Ruoxuan checked his mail and he got GIP Work and Study in China.
Huijie and I wanted only to check after our quizzes so we did after that, we got the same program too!
To be honest, I wasn't really excited for it, perhaps because I have already applied for IA in Taiwan?
However there is a risk to this, once Taiwan IA has selected me for interview, my GIP will be cancelled immediately and if I pass the Taiwan IA interview then I will of course go to Taiwan. But if I fail the interview I will not be allowed to go back to GIP, thus can only stay in Singapore.
So, God bless, either allow me to be selected for the interview and pass it; or do not select me at all!!
Today is the black 13: I did so badly for second quiz of the day, Structure 2 Quiz 1.
Wednesday, September 07, 2011
These few days I was busy with my Industrial Attachment Application. The system also a bit screwed up, I have to re-submit my data sheet and resume a few times before the system captured them. The worse was, yesterday night when I wanted to apply at 11pm plus, it showed page error. I didn't know why was it like that. Then I kept on retyping and resending for ten over times, in the end by 3am I was still not yet registered for my IA. This makes my life so miserable and I have thus missed a few lectures. So this morning I woke up early to do again at 9am. The same screen appeared. So i closed it and wanted to try one more time before I gave up to go school. Then this time it showed that I have already registered for IA at 9.12am this morning. I was puzzled? Isn't the screen showed page error again just a minute before? Then I emailed CAO again to inform them that my problem has solved. However, just now I received their email, they said that it was them who helped me to registered on my behalf based on the email I sent to them earlier. I actually changed a little bit for the bottom choices. but it does matter. Hope I would not have to go to the bottom few choices.
I have chosen Taiwan as my first interviewing OIA, I hope to get into it so that I can go to Taiwan to work for 6 months. If I get interview for this (No matter what is the outcome of the interview), my GIP (China, France or Switzerland) will be cancelled immediately. So, pretty please, let me get selected for IA in Taiwan! I prefer Taiwan - Work than China - Work and Study.
Yesterday, I woke up at 9am to make sushi as promised. I took about 3 hours to prepare the ingredients and made 20 rolls (about 100 pieces?) of sushi. I shall admit that the sushi this round was not as nice because the rice was too dry, there was no Japanese cucumber (my family cooked it for dinner on Monday night :( ) and there was not enough tuna/salmon spread. However, All those who have tried it said it was nice. And best thing was, all of the sushi were finished by the end of yesterday. I made one roll and one box especially for Yang course that was what I owed him. Then another box for the double-clique which Jing finished all up because yang ate his own shares, Hong didn't go to school and Tady was having late lesson. One box for Syafiqah but she also didn't go to school so I gave it all to Huijie. The biggest tupperware contains around half of what I made (50 pieces?) and it was shared among my course friends, about 20 of them. I felt great seeing friends happily eating my sushi :)
Also, since I was already late for the first lecture, so I skipped it and in the end have time for this, I love it:
After school then I met Colin, Chee Kent and Puay Kee for dinner in NTU. Colin brought us to a cafe in NTU, the place was so peaceful, great ambiance for relaxing and chatting with friends, especially on Friday nights. It was so quiet there that I swear I am going to visit there very often. Colin said we should not tell too many people about it so that the place can remain quiet as it is, otherwise it would no longer be an ideal place for chilling out. TRUE. ahhahaa. 
Anyway, Happy Birthday Qingting (:
